


Down The Rabbit Hole

by Signel_chan



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, First Relationships, Workplace Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 05:00:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6940837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Signel_chan/pseuds/Signel_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Ricken wanted from life after school was a girlfriend. Never once did he think that his love of small animals would bring him one, nor did he think that his first girlfriend would somehow become so much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Down The Rabbit Hole

There were a lot of things Ricken felt he could take on the moment he graduated from his dual-enrolled high school and college classes, but the most prominent one had nothing to do with his new ability to walk into any workplace he wanted and get rejected because he was “overqualified” for their positions. Work could always wait. Romance, however, could not, and he’d already pushed finding a girlfriend to after graduation. Why make the falling in love thing wait so much as a second longer? Girls had to dig the fact that he was the first guy in several years to graduate from his schools the way he did, right?

The truth was, all the girls he knew had long since gotten boyfriends of their own, and despite his amazing academic accomplishments, none of them were really interested with breaking up with their significant others to give him a chance. It was a minor setback in his plans, but a smart guy like him had to have other ways to meet ladies and get a girlfriend who would become his forever. He couldn’t just rely on his friends to help him get by. There had to be some other way that he’d be able to find someone to love.

Except there wasn’t, because Ricken wasn’t exactly the smoothest operator when it came to romantic pursuits. He stumbled and fumbled through basic conversation with even the plainest of ladies, always making himself seem younger and more immature than he actually was, a huge turn-off to every single lady he expressed interest in. For years, time that a normal person would have been off at college meeting new people there, he tried his hardest to get himself a girlfriend, every attempt ending with no new ground broken and no new love interest in his life. Meanwhile, his friends were all growing up around him, turning their significant others into spouses and starting little families of their own.

He wasn’t going to let something like hearing his best friends talk about their weddings and their soon-to-be babies put a damper on his attempts at getting someone to date him, though. In fact, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he could use them to help him out, whether they realized it or not. And so, every time he heard any of his friends talk about wanting to go out, or making plans for shopping trips, he offered to tag along as company. Wherever his friends were going, there had to be single ladies who were looking for men to call their own, he figured, and while his friends knew that he was going for reasons other than being supportive of them, they allowed him along for the ride.

For weeks, Ricken tagged along with his friends as they went home décor shopping, as they went clothes shopping, and as they went baby things shopping. He tried to act like he was enjoying himself as they chattered amongst each other in front of him, but he really wasn’t. He wasn’t even seeing any ladies in any of the stores they went to that didn’t have gaudy rings on their fingers or men attached to their hips. Feeling like his efforts were being wasted, he told himself that he would only let this nonsense last for a month, and then once that month was over, he was back to searching for a girlfriend in all the places he could reasonably go to on his own.

It would hopefully never have to get to that point, but he had the plan there just in case it did. The days dragged on, with his friends’ adventures proving even more fruitless for him than he ever imagined they would be, and soon the month was to be coming to an end. Having come out of it exactly the same as he’d been when the month started, Ricken was inclined to see it as a giant failure, but he still had a small sliver of hope that the last couple of days would turn the tables on what had happened so far. There had to be someone, anyone, who would see him out with his two lady friends and not assume that he was romantically attached to either of them.

The last day before the self-imposed month deadline was when he got his first real shot. He was sitting outside of one of the maternity stores at the mall while his friends looked around inside, his face buried in his hands. “I can’t believe that they dragged me here again,” he mumbled, hearing the ladies’ faint laughter in the distance. “I know why they did it, but I’ve helped them so much that they should have tried helping me too…oh man, what if Lissa and Maribelle thought this _was_ helping me?”

“You there, kid.” The three words were pointed at Ricken, something he only noticed when they were repeated for a second and third time and he looked up from his hands to see a dark-skinned woman towering over him, her arms crossed over her chest as she stared down at him. “What are you doing outside of a place like this? Surely you’re too young to be parenting a child.”

“I-I am,” he answered, quickly getting to his feet so that he didn’t feel like he was so small next to this strange woman. “I’m here with some friends who aren’t too young, I guess. Why does it matter to you? Did I do something wrong?”

Although her stare barely broke as she shook her head, she did lighten up the intensity of how her eyebrows were furrowed. “No, I’ve noticed you hanging around certain stores here lately and felt it was appropriate to approach you when you weren’t surrounded with those gossipy women. You’re the kid who plays with all the animals at the pet store whenever you’re there. All of them. Including the ‘unlovable’ ones.”

“Yeah, I guess you could call me that kid.” Shrugging, Ricken gave the lady a closer look, feeling like he’d seen her somewhere before, somewhere he couldn’t place. “I only do it because I hate going in there and feeling like I didn’t pay attention to all the animals. If I could have, I would have gotten a degree in something relating to animals, but my school wouldn’t allow it.” He paused, blinking a few times as he felt his cheeks light up from embarrassment. “Oh gods, I didn’t mean to just tell you my whole life story there!”

“It was certainly something to listen to,” the woman replied, a small smile appearing on her lips. “I myself am a lover of animals, devoted entirely to making sure that they receive the fair treatment they deserve.” Uncrossing her arms, she offered him a hand to shake, which he did after a moment’s hesitation. Her hand was soft to hold, something he was ashamed to even think. “My name is Panne. I hope that we run into each other more often, but perhaps not in a place like this.”

“I’m Ricken, and I agree,” he stammered in response, nerves suddenly taking over him. Now it wasn’t just her appearance, but her name as well that seemed familiar to him. “Maybe next time we can meet at the pet store? Since, you know, that’s where you first saw me and—“ He abruptly stopped speaking, his eyes going wide at what he’d just realized. “—you work there! That’s how you know I play with the animals!”

“Yes, I happen to be the one who allows you to take out animals I know you’re not planning on purchasing. You are so gentle and kind with them, it’s hard not to appreciate the love you shower them with.” Withdrawing her hand from their handshake, Panne’s arms crossed over her chest once more. “And so, I would be honored to have you stop by sometime, not for casual browsing, but perhaps for something more.”

He was at a loss for words at her blunt offer, only nodding to let her know that he’d heard what she had just said. She seemed pleased at his reaction, bidding him farewell and walking into the distance, while he collapsed back against the glass of the storefront and waited for his friends to come back so that he could tell them that he’d just gotten a date offer.

Except it wasn’t a date offer, something he found out when he went over to the pet store a few days later, dressed as nicely as he could manage, to find that Panne hadn’t been asking him out at all. She was pleased at his appearance, but when it came time for her to explain what her intentions were, it had nothing to do with romantic endeavors. A decent job doing something that Ricken had secretly wanted to do with his life, though, was nothing to sneeze at, even if it wasn’t exactly what he’d been expecting.

The work wasn’t hard, though there was a lot more to it than just getting to play with the animals—but somehow he and Panne both spent an awful lot of time doing just that. He never knew how much fun he could have petting a rabbit until he watched her let them crawl all over her lap as she played with them, nor did he realize just how great some of the other animals were until he was watching how Panne handled them. Even though there were several other people who worked at the pet store, all of whom were nice people who Ricken grew to enjoy the company of, he liked it best when he was working with the woman who’d gotten him the job. And based on the fact that she was the one responsible for the schedules, he could assume that she liked working with him best too.

As time went on, and things changed in regards to his friends around him, he found himself thinking less about how grown-up his friends seemed and how he felt so much happier than he ever saw them being. Had they been too eager to get married and start families, neglecting finding their own places in the world? He wasn’t exactly going to go and ask either of his close friends that question, not when they put on their big, happy smiles whenever they saw him and talked about what they’d been up to with such faked enthusiasm. He didn’t want to make them feel like they’d rushed into things, but at the same time, he didn’t want to keep holding onto the feeling that he was going too slow with everything.

A man was allowed to be content with his job and potentially harboring feelings for his co-worker, wasn’t he? It wasn’t something he liked dwelling on, not after the struggle he’d been through to find a woman willing to give him the time of day, but deep down inside he knew that he wanted to become more than just co-workers with Panne. She was a great influence on him and his mood, and he figured that she would probably be a great girlfriend as well. But Panne never really seemed interested in romantic endeavors, always brushing off Ricken’s awkward comments as just part of his personality. He even tried flat-out asking her on a date one time, about a year after he’d started working at the pet store, and she was so honored by the offer that she invited everyone else at the store along as well.

He did like his co-workers, he really did, but he’d wanted a dinner date with only Panne, not her plus the chipper cashier girl and the broken-language speaking delivery guy. Beginning to come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t going to get to date this amazing woman he’d been given the chance to know was hard, but there had to have been a reason why they were just co-workers and not anything more. If they were meant to be, surely something would have happened before this point in time, and since it hadn’t, he was just going to have to start looking for someone somewhere else.

Starting the search while on the job might not have been the smartest idea, but it was the best one he had. He didn’t find anyone of note after the first week of looking, but he did notice that Panne was spending a lot more time staring at him after she’d overheard him laying one of his bad pickup lines on a customer. Could it have been that she was disappointed in him that he was using his position to pick up chicks, or was it something else? Something that he’d already tried to push from his mind, perhaps?

“You’re hitting on every lady that walks through our doors,” she told him one day after the store was closed and they were putting animals to bed. He didn’t dignify her accusation with a response, as he knew she was completely right. “It’s disheartening to hear you try so hard with nothing coming from it. Maybe you should try elsewhere.”

The words hit him hard, and he audibly gasped in shock. “Panne, you’re going to fire me over me hitting on ladies? I thought you liked my work ethic and my company!”

“Did I say I was going to fire you? No, I am fairly certain I said you should try elsewhere. Like on me.” Her voice was unamused, but there was a playful smile upon Panne’s lips as she spoke. “Go on, Ricken. Try your moves on me.”

“B-but I have!” The shock of not being fired wore off fast, especially when followed with such a forward request. “I’ve tried hitting on you so many times, and it never works! I figured you knew I was doing it and you were ignoring me because I’m not good enough to be your boyfriend or something.”

“Oh, you’ve tried before? Was it that time you invited me on a date but neglected to mention it was a date, so I made it a workplace gathering? Or was it the time you complimented my wardrobe choice just for me to tell you I was wearing the only non-animal stained clothing I currently possessed?” She put a finger to her chin as she thought up another instance, all while poor Ricken’s face was turning beet red in shame at what she was saying, something she noticed and laughed at. “What, did you figure I hadn’t caught on to your actions? I was merely waiting for you to properly say something, and when you moved on without giving me a chance, I can’t say that it didn’t hurt.”

He reached towards her, grabbing her arm with both hands. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Panne! You’ve been nothing but great to me, and ever since we first talked there in front of that store that day, I’ve kind of liked you but never known how to talk about it with you! Please tell me, do you like me back?”

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have brought up my displeasure with your actions.” His grip loosened, which didn’t matter as she was using her other arm to sweep him up into a big hug, bending down to get her face right up close to his, the bridge of her nose pressing down into his. “You are a curious individual, Ricken, but your heart is in the right place in regards to everything that matters to me. I have a particular fondness of you, and if you would like to discover what that means a bit further, I would be honored to show you.”

Ricken’s only experience with ladies up to that point might have just been his friends, but he was fairly confident that Panne wasn’t just talking about a potential kiss or two.

* * *

If his life had been changed by getting that job there at the pet store, that sort of change was completely blown out of the water the first time he spent a night with Panne. It was a couple of months after their consensual decision to become a relationship, and it was after a late night movie date after they’d gotten off work. Rather than going back home and facing his parents (and having to explain to them where he’d been so late—he might have been an adult but he lived at home and had to answer to them no matter what), Panne had offered him some room in her apartment, an offer he gladly took up.

Had he known that her offer wasn’t for a spare bed or even the couch, but rather in her bed next to her, he might have chosen to go back to his house instead, but by the time he was lying next to her, himself still mostly clothed while she’d changed into some skimpy pajamas he was sure she didn’t think anyone would see, he knew it was too late to change his mind. The only thing he found out from that night was that she radiated a whole bunch of body heat, something that was unbearable when he was in so much clothing and they were in an un-air conditioned room during an early summer night, but on the following nights when he was prepared to sleep over, there were other discoveries to be made. She preferred sleeping without blankets on her bed, making separating their bodies nearly impossible. She was fond of cuddling up next to him, wrapping her arms and legs around him like she was an animal.

There was something _else_ that she approached much like an animal, but that wasn’t something that Ricken wanted to dwell on much past the instances where it happened. He was just so small when compared to Panne that he was positive he had done nothing but disappoint her in their moments of nighttime passion, but by the way she seemed eager to invite him into her bedroom again to go at it once more, maybe his worries were unfounded.

At least, his worries of disappointing her were unfounded. There might have been other worries that would have mattered more to be thinking of, but he wasn’t quite to the point of considering that their nights in her bedroom could have any sort of consequences, not when she was so insistent that they keep having them. Surely she was taking things cautiously, especially since she didn’t once tell him to do so, and the one time he brought it up she hushed him with a violent kiss before he was two words into his sentence.

The thing about Panne was, she had no intentions of being cautious when it came to bedroom activities with someone that she loved and knew was completely clean of anything harmful. She had one goal in mind when it came to what they’d been doing, and she was not going to stop with inviting Ricken into her room several times a week until she had gotten what she wanted from him, that of course being a child growing in her womb.

And the moment she got exactly that, their relationship went from “dating and screwing around” to “completely serious about their romance,” because she was not going to give up the man who was going to let her raise something that wasn’t a small animal. Ricken, upon finding out that he’d been willingly attempting to help Panne achieve her goal of having a child, seemed shocked to learn that he’d been used in such a way, but that shock quickly turned to fear of what came next for them. “We’re not married, you know,” he reminded her, talking over her excited explanation of what they were going to do with the child they were now going to be having. “My parents are going to kill us when they find out that we were doing things while unmarried. Do you know what that means for the baby? It means that it’s going to be dead, just like us.”

“Nonsense, your parents will never know that we were doing anything while not married.” The excitement in her voice had faded a bit, but it was still evident in her smile. “You don’t ever mention telling them things about our relationship, so who is to say we had not already eloped to start working towards achieving my dream?” She held out her hand, both of them looking to it and its ringless fingers. “The real jewelry can wait until we have the money for it, but we can always say I lost my ring at work if your parents push the issue.”

“But that’s not…” Ricken’s thought trailed off as he looked to Panne’s absolutely ecstatic face, seeing just how happy she was about this development in their lives. How could he say anything to crush her spirits? He swallowed down hard, trying to resist saying what was on his mind, but he knew deep down that lying and pretending he didn’t have any problems with what she’d just told him was not the way to handle things. “Panne, I don’t know if I’m ready for all this. We’re moving really fast, don’t you think?”

She blinked a few times as she processed his words, shrugging them off the moment she knew what he was meaning. “We’re moving the exact rate that I would like us to be moving. This has gone over so much better than the last time I found myself in this situation.”

“This situation? You mean, the baby thing? Or the romance, in-love thing?” Now starting to get worried about what he was very deep into, Ricken gave his girlfriend a worried look. “Come on, don’t tell me that this isn’t the first time you’ve been here. Please don’t.”

“I was never able to progress past the initial dating stage with my last significant other,” she said, her voice steady and solemn despite just how happy she seemed to be. “He was a curious fellow, older than you but not by much. Very in love with animals, and claimed to be very in love with me. He was perfect for my desire to raise children, but when the time came to start trying for one, he backed out.” She closed her eyes, laughing as she did. “I can still hear his last words to me clearly: ‘I’d love to have a bunch kids someday, but not with you.’ They stung when he said them, and they still sting now.”

“Panne, I didn’t mean to make you think about something that hurts you!” Ricken, despite his wariness with the current situation, wrapped her up in a hug, trying to erase any damage he might have caused. “I didn’t know that you dated someone who said something so mean to you, and I really hope you don’t think that I feel the same way that guy did, because I don’t! I…I’d love to have kids with you. And I guess that’s a good thing?”  
Her nod let him know that he had said the right thing, even though he was hesitant in saying it. “It is a very good thing, seeing as we are having a child together. Now let’s move back to the talk of our relationship status, shall we? You seemed quite concerned about us being unmarried at this time, and you interrupted yourself when I suggested a few ways to get around that problem.”

“Because I moved on to talking about us moving through all this really fast, yeah.” He still wasn’t sure what he should say in regards to them being married or not, because as far as he understood it, this wasn’t how relationships were supposed to work. There wasn’t supposed to be just one before he found his forever, if his friends’ experiences were any indication, and there should have been lots of time spent preparing for that forever, something that was severely lacking in what he had with Panne. But he couldn’t leave her, not knowing what he knew. “I guess you’re right about how I can just lie to my parents about everything until we can actually get married. Because, uh, I don’t think I can know what I know and not get married to you because of it.”

“The tone of your voice tells me that you don’t quite believe what you are saying, so let me tell you that if you don’t want to marry me, you don’t have to.” She pushed her way out of his hug and moved him to an arm’s length away from herself, holding both his shoulders as she looked at him with a serious expression. “There is no reason for you to feel you are being held in a relationship you are not fond of. I can raise a child by myself. It’s what I’ve wanted to do with my life, and you’ve provided me with the opportunity. Your presence is not required if you don’t want to be around.”

“But I do want to be around!” Ricken leaned forward, but he was still being held back by her outstretched arms. “Panne, listen to me! I want to be around for you and this baby, no matter what! Don’t take my shock as me saying I don’t love you and don’t want to be here!” His words must have been more reassuring than he thought, because she dropped her arms and let him hug her once more. “I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. Never thought I could love someone this much. And now here we are, and I couldn’t ask for anything different.”

Taking a few moments to let his words sink in, Panne smiled. “I never thought I would grow close enough to a man to get this chance, just like I never thought a man would grow close enough to me to love me. Together, married or not, we will make the best of what we were meant to do, I am sure of it.”

Maybe she felt like she was meant to spend her life raising children, but Ricken didn’t feel the same way; he knew better than to ever say anything of that nature to her, though. He just agreed with what she said and went along with her wishes, knowing that he was now forever tied to her, regardless of if that was what he had wanted or not. There were many things about their situation that needed to be addressed in the near future, but one that would never be approached again was the existence of their love—he had been raised to stick with a woman through good times and bad, and her being with child was definitely a time where he needed to stay with her.

When his parents found out about the baby, they weren’t quick to judge their son about his decisions, rather playing the role of supportive grandparents-to-be and offering everything they could to the couple. This changed within days, when they realized that they had never once been made aware of the fact that their son had been close enough to a woman to have created a child within her, despite having met Panne on several occasions. That was where Panne’s lie to get around the question of them being married came into play, and she was more than happy to tell them that they’d been quickly married after a few months of dating, but that the hustle and bustle of the pet store had cost them both their rings.

She was pleased with herself when they bought into her story, but Ricken wasn’t as thrilled, simply because he knew his parents would find out it was all a lie somehow. When he confronted her about it a few days later, she sighed at his questions of why she would say such things to his parents. “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a family around that loved me,” she said after many minutes of thinking about things, “and I don’t want to have cost you yours. After all, they have to accept me into their arms like I’m their daughter now, don’t they?”

“I never thought of it that way, actually.” He’d heard Panne talk about how she didn’t have any relatives of any sort alive, all having died through various means and afflictions, but he never once thought that the lack of family would cause her to want a new one so much. “Hey, wait, is that why you want to have a baby so badly? Because you want to have a family around you again?”

“That’s part of it, yes,” she replied with a nod. “While it’s a shame that I cannot pass my family’s name down and that it will die with me, I can pass down everything else they gave me in the few years I knew them all. You too come from a family that has much to pass down, something else that makes you the perfect man to be father to my children.” The way her hand hovered over her stomach as she spoke made Ricken nervous, because she was setting some rather lofty standards for him to be reaching, something he wasn’t sure he was capable of. “Together, you and I will raise a family of perfect individuals. Ones who know how to tell good people from bad, who know how to trust only those who deserve it, and who love their parents and animals about all else.”

The mere thought of soon being a parent to someone was enough to get Ricken shaking, because even though Panne seemed completely at ease with the idea, he still wasn’t. He had been spending close to every moment he’d had since finding out the news just dwelling on it, wondering if he was making the right decision by staying with her to raise their child, but when he heard her talking about how well they’d raise not only this child, but subsequent ones as well, it only made him warier of what was to come. “That all sounds lovely, but maybe we’re getting a bit ahead of ourselves? You know, maybe we should actually meet the baby first before we start assuming what we’ll be able to teach them.”

“No, we must set goals for ourselves before the time to meet the child is upon us.” She gave a long, almost dreamy sigh as she let her hand fall to her side. “I wish that day was today, but there’s no way for that to be the case. Instead we must remain in love with each other and the child that this love has brought us, as we prepare for what I’ve always wanted in my life.”

“I hear you,” he said, trying to curb his shaking to look more presentable and in-control of himself in this situation. “There’s a lot we’ve got to do, and not a whole lot of time for us to get it done in. Why couldn’t you have waited until we had our lives in order to drop this baby-wanting thing on me?”

She laughed, taking his words as a joke. “Because I feel that my life can never be in order unless I am raising a child and furthering my family’s existence in this world.” It all went back to making sure her family was represented in things, something that concerned Ricken just a bit. It seemed to always be about her and what she wanted, never what he wanted, and he was going to have to put up with that for the rest of his life because he’d let her take advantage of his love.

The next several months were going to be long ones for him, he knew it.

* * *

Getting everything into place to raise a child wasn’t easy, but somehow the couple managed to start in the right direction on their own. It first required officially moving in together, which in itself was a hassle because they had to find somewhere else to live than the place Panne had been calling home, just because her place wasn’t exactly the best to be trying to raise anyone in. Once they had their living arrangements in place, then came the simple act of actually getting legally hitched so that people couldn’t question their decisions any more than they already had.

It wasn’t a glorious ceremony by any means, and with the bare minimum of people in attendance the two were bound by legal documents in one of the offices down at the courthouse. The rest of that day, which should have been one spent reveling in the fact that they were married, was instead spent toiling away at work, where everyone had been told the lie that they were _already_ married, so nothing could be said about the new development there without questions being asked. But it was definitely a new experience for Ricken, as he spent his time doing his normal work, to hear Panne saying something to someone (normally in regards to them wanting to purchase an animal they were ill equipped to own) and to think not that she was his girlfriend, but that she was in fact his wife. His ever-so-temperamental wife who had a very low tolerance for people who didn’t know how to handle animals.

As the days and weeks, and eventual months, went by, the novelty of them being actually married wore off about as quickly as the realization that he was in way over his head began to sink in. Every day was a new experience for them, no matter what the day’s plans were, but regardless if they were just spending the day working together, or if they were doing things related to their baby, it felt like he wasn’t meant to be part of it anymore. He knew that she’d said he could leave if he wanted to, but that was before they’d actually gotten married; what if sticking around had been the worst choice he could have made?

He was in far too deep to do anything about it, and so he didn’t say a word about his doubts, even when things around him started to get even more complicated than before. Back when this had all first began, he’d been inwardly hoping that Panne’s announcement of being with child was just a joke to see if he’d bolt at the prospect, but he had to get past that desire, especially after everything that had been shown to him to prove it was real. The one thing that hadn’t changed in the months since that development, oddly enough, was her physical stature—she might have had the pictures and the doctor’s appointments to prove there was a baby, and she definitely had the personality changes, but there wasn’t any growth to prove the point, not even a little bit.

At least, that’s how it was for quite some time, sinking Ricken into a pit of believing that his now-wife had tricked him into marrying her through an elaborate scheme. He’d been there for his friends when they had babies, he knew that by the time there were just a few months left before the due date, there should hopefully have been some sort of telling the woman was pregnant just by looking at her. But there they were, creeping closer and closer to the apparent date of their parenthood, and no one would have been able to tell anything was different just by casually looking at Panne.

But when the change hit, it hit her hard. Or, rather, it seemed to do just that, because of how she’d been presenting herself in the time leading up to when it was glaringly obvious that she was carrying a child. She’d never been one for tightly-fitting clothing, and what she wore to work was always obstructed by an apron, so she had been cleverly hiding her physical state for as long as she could from everyone, including the man she shared a bed with, leaving him even more regretful of what was going on when he finally caught on. And when he was able to look at her and notice the difference in her, there was no way that other people around them weren’t going to do the same.

Never did Ricken think that _that_ was going to be a problem, but somehow it managed to be one just because he was still so unsure of everything that was going on. It was a busy mid-winter day at the pet store, one where every employee that worked there was needed to get everything taken care of. He was, like usual, in charge of small animals, making sure that curious customers weren’t bothering them too much, but his attention kept getting diverted from his work by various distractions.

First it was his close friends coming in with their almost-identical young sons (he knew whose child was older, but it was remembering which of the boys belonged to which of the ladies that was the problem), and then it was them getting into a long conversation with Panne on the topic of how she was going to raise her child, which was then followed by the stealth information drop of the child’s name and gender. It physically pained Ricken to hear her get so excited about her choice of name for the poor child, but his friends seemed to be over the moon when they were explaining to their boys that they’d soon have a little friend named Yarne to get to play with. How badly he wanted to step in and say something against that name, but he knew that now that they knew what it was, he’d never get a word in to the contrary.

After they left and everyone was back to work, he thought that maybe that was the end of things being strange for him that day. He couldn’t have been more wrong, not when someone grabbed him by the arm a few hours later, and when he looked to see who it was, they pulled him into a quick hug. “Hey Ricken, had no idea you were workin’ here at the pet store!” a voice he hadn’t heard in a long time said to him, as the hug broke apart. “Figured you were off doin’ smart person stuff with that degree you got in school.”

“Oh, uh, you would think that, wouldn’t you, Donny?” Hearing his friend admit to that judgment stung a bit, but Ricken understood why someone would have thought such a thing. He had worked so hard to get that college degree while in high school that anyone would have figured he would have wanted to make the most of it. Instead, he’d taken a job at a pet store that had only been offered to him because the woman in charge had seen romantic potential in him. That wasn’t something he was going to say to a reunited friend, though. “I ended up here because I couldn’t find anything else. But that’s okay, because there’s always the rest of my life for doing other things.”

“Well, knowin’ how great ya were with the animals on the farm, this ain’t much of a surprise to see!” Donny laughed, hugging Ricken once more. “Nice to know where I can find a friend whenever I need one, but I probably don’t got much time to be spendin’ here talkin’ to ya! I don’t exactly have all the time in town, and there’s lots to get done while I’m here!” Breaking away again, he politely tipped his head to his friend. “Next time I’m in town, though, I’m makin’ it a point to get to talkin’ to ya about things I’ve missed out on! Don’t think that ain’t gonna happen, y’hear?”

“I hear you loud and clear,” Ricken replied, awkwardly smiling at the eagerness for conversation. The only thing that could have made it worse would have been if Panne had noticed the short exchange, but she was thankfully busy verbally berating someone who had let their child tap on the glass of one of the dog enclosures. He didn’t want to know what she would be like if she got to interact with Donny, and he hoped that he’d get lucky enough that she wouldn’t be present the next time he came around.

By all means, she shouldn’t have been present, as the next time Donny’s head of purple hair appeared in the pet store was close to a month later, just after the time Panne had been instructed by her doctor to stop working for the sake of her child. She was belligerent as always, insisting that she knew how to handle things, and so she was still working, her physical size seemingly having doubled in the time since it first became obvious that she was pregnant. And it was her that first encountered Donny on his return visit, him coming up to her unaware of who she was. “Er, ‘scuse me, ma’am, but I’m lookin’ for one mister Ricken. Short guy, kinda looks like a kid? Have y’seen him around here?” he asked, not paying attention to how Panne’s face lit up at the mention of her husband.

“Seen him around here? Why of course I have. He works almost every time I work, which if I am here, that means he is as well.” She leaned down to get into Donny’s face, the power of her intimidation tactic losing some of its edge with her vulnerable physical state and her inability to really get up close with him. “What business do you have with him?”

“I’m just here to have a catchin’ up kind of conversation with him!” Donny cheerfully told her, still not getting that she was trying to scare him with how close to him she was. “We used to be great friends back in the day, me and Ricken. Then my ma said I had t’be homeschooled so I could watch the farm and—“

Panne gasped, leaning in even closer, although her eyes were wide with curiosity. “A farm, you say? Ricken has never once told me that he has a friend with a farm. Or, to be fair, any male friends, but gender doesn’t always come up in friend discussions.”

“Er, yeah, he’s got a friend with a farm and that friend would be me!” Pointing to himself with his thumb, Donny finally took notice of just how close to his face Panne was, and he leaned back a bit to look her over, trying to see if he knew who she was. Of course, by the time his eyes had gotten down to the top of her apron, letting him know that she was someone who worked at the store he was in, she was already turning away to go find Ricken herself. “Hey, where’re ya goin’, ma’am? Aren’t ya gonna help me out?”

“I have to go find my husband,” she answered, her voice no longer excited about the idea of someone Ricken knowing having a farm. As she walked away, Donny noticed that she was being awfully careful to position herself behind as many displays and cages as possible, but he chalked that up to just her way of walking through the store. He let the intimidation tactic she’d used on him slip from his mind as he started looking for animals, waiting to catch a glimpse of the friend he’d come to see.

Ricken, not knowing that Panne was looking for him, nor that Donny had come to visit, started doing his check of the store and the customers within in a few minutes later, and was pleasantly surprised to see his purple-haired friend up at the rabbit enclosure. He didn’t notice Panne, at the back of the store, watching Donny intently with her still-wide eyes, waiting to see what business he had with her significant other. “Oh hey, you came by!” he exclaimed when he saw Donny, taking the other man by surprise. “I didn’t think you’d stick to your word, but here you are! What brings you to town today?”

“Well, comin’ t’see you, first of all, but also t’spend some time with a lady friend of mine. Real charmer of a gal, she is. Glad I live close enough so I can see her whenever I’m in town.” Petting one of the rabbits as gently as he could, Donny smiled to himself, before looking at Ricken and his expression of simultaneous awe and disgust. “What’s the problem there, pal? Jealous that some farm boy like me could get a gal faster than ya?”

The expression turned more to the disgust side. “No, no, it’s not that. I’ve actually got someone, if you can believe it.”

“Huh, well you better not tell that one gal who works here that. She seemed to be real protective of ya when I asked if she’d seen ya before.” Now Ricken’s cheeks were beginning to pale, but he prodded his friend to explain what he meant. “For starters, I mentioned ya and she got all up in my face,” he raised a hand to right in front of Ricken’s face, almost brushing the tip of his nose, “kinda like this. And then she was talkin’ ‘bout how ya never told her ya knew someone with a farm, which was mighty weird. But she said she was married, so maybe tellin’ her that you’ve got someone ain’t a bad idea after all.”

The long, exasperated sigh that Ricken gave at his friend’s retelling was enough to attract the eyes and ears of almost everyone in the store, but none more prominently than Panne’s. As she started to make her way back over to the two, he said, “I don’t have to tell her a thing, Donny. She knows all of it. She’s, uh, kind of the woman I’ve got.”

“There is no ‘kind of’ about it, Ricken,” Panne interjected, taking the last few steps over to them a lot quicker than she should have, almost losing her balance and falling right before them but catching herself on the rabbit enclosure. “We are married and expecting a child together, two facts you cannot deny to me or to your friend here.” As Ricken covered his face, shame filling him at her blunt way of putting things in front of his friend, she looked to Donny, who was now the one doing the wide-eyed staring. “I apologize for not introducing myself properly before, but there is no time like the present. My name is Panne, and I’m your friend’s wife.”

“Nice to properly meet ya, miss Panne!” he cheerfully replied, reaching towards her with an outstretched hand, one she took into a quick handshake rather eagerly. “Never would’ve guessed that my ol’ pal Ricken could’ve gotten with someone like you, but now that I know who ya are, it makes perfect sense! And to be havin’ a kid, wow! I didn’t think Ricken was the kind ‘a guy to be havin’ children so young!”

“We must have a head start on having as many children as my heart desires.” Unlike when she normally started talking about kids, Panne didn’t make any motions towards her stomach; instead, she grabbed Ricken and pulled him close to her, his body ending up resting against hers. “His age is not a problem, not when together we are capable to raise children.”

Donny’s eyes were still wide, but now he was looking between Panne and Ricken with a huge smile on his face. “Aw, you two are just the cutest! I’m so happy for the both of ya, especially with how happy ya seem t’be together!” Whatever he was looking at, he must not have seen how actually un-thrilled with his situation Ricken was, as he was awkwardly smiling while feeling not just the pressure of his wife’s hands holding him in place, but the small, almost unnatural movements happening within her stomach. “I hope someday, me and my lady get to bein’ as happy and in love as you two are!”

“Oh, you have someone in your life as well?” Panne seemed genuinely curious about the answer to this question, and when Donny nodded, her face lit up. “That is wonderful news! Does she enjoy animals as much as I assume you do, with living on a farm and whatnot?”

“She’s not as fond of animals as I am, no ma’am, but she’s interestin’ in her own way.” Suddenly remembering something, Donny looked around the store a bit. “Do ya have cats here? She’s been goin’ on and on ‘bout wantin’ a gray cat. Wants t’name it somethin’ silly. Robin, I think? I keep sayin’ to her, ‘That’s a bird name, not a cat name,’ but she ain’t listenin’ to a word of it.”

“We do sell cats here, but none of that description.” After his initial disappointment to the answer, Donny and Panne broke into a long conversation about farms and the animals that lived on them, all while Ricken was still held in his exact position without any room for him to input anything into the conversation. When Donny had to leave (a pale woman with long, dark hair came in looking for him and they quickly left after he relayed the message of no gray cats), Panne seemed genuinely sad to see a new friend go. “He seems like such a sweetheart,” she commented, finally letting Ricken move around again. “If I hadn’t gotten to you first, perhaps he would have been the one I would have gone with.”

It was a rude thought, and it was a fleeting one, but Ricken somewhat wished that she had met Donny before him, so that he wouldn’t be trapped in helping fulfill her dreams.

* * *

A few weeks later, at the point when their child could be born at any time, they were laying in bed next to one another, Ricken rethinking everything he’d ever thought in regards to what he was doing with his life while Panne tried to get herself to sleep. He didn’t like dwelling on the fact that he was within days of his life changing forever, when it had already changed so much up to that point, yet that was where his mind constantly went. There wasn’t such a thing as a life for him without his wife and their child, and he had to accept that, no matter how begrudgingly the acceptance was.

“Are you still awake?” he heard Panne ask, her voice soft as her exhaustion showed through it. “I hope that you are, as I would like to talk to you about something on my mind.” A spark of hope appeared deep in Ricken’s soul—maybe she was going to talk to him about how much she didn’t care for their current situation either! “The last time I spoke with the doctor, she gave me some unsettling news that I have been dwelling on far longer than I should be, and now I’m going to tell you about it, whether you’re listening or not.”

His heart sank for a moment, that hope being crushed faster than he thought possible. What if she was about to say that there was something wrong with this child that she so strongly wanted to care for? Would she love her little Yarne as much as she already did if he was born with something horribly wrong with him? “She informed me that it would be foolish and potentially life-threatening if we proceeded to try to have another child right away, to which I laughed at her and told her that I would do as I pleased. I must carry my family’s legacy on as much as I possibly can, with the man who I feel is most suitable for the job, and that means we are not taking time off from child making if we can help it.”

“That’s…lovely,” he mumbled in response, not wanting to actually dignify her words with an answer but knowing that he could be raged at if he didn’t. “But maybe we should listen, you know. Doctors do know a thing or two.”

“But she doesn’t understand the circumstances of why we need as many children as quickly as possible. I want to be a parent for life, I do not have the time to waste on resting like she recommends.” He could hear Panne adjusting how she was laying, most likely trying to find some comfortable position, and then he felt her arm drape over him like it belonged there. “Together, you and I will raise a large and beautiful family. By this time next year, I will be disappointed if we are not raising both our Yarne and another child.”

He didn’t respond, as his eyes shifted to looking over at her in the darkness of their room, Even without light, he could see that she was smiling at him, hoping he agreed with her wishes, and so he forced a wary smile onto his own lips. Did he even have a choice anymore when it came to what she wanted?

All he could hope was that, when they finally did meet their son, he was enough to get her to rethink this desire, if only just a bit. There was nothing Ricken could say or do to get Panne to change her mind, so it was clearly going to have to be their son’s job.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday, Ricken!! :D


End file.
